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What makes a person attractive? Initially we tend to think of physical beauty, but what other characteristics are at play?
We gaze in appreciation at a handsome stranger sitting at a nearby table. Later, we observe him being friendly and kind to the waiter, and we find him to be even more attractive. Conversely, imagine the handsome stranger being rude to the waiter. Most of us would be quickly turned off. He would not be as physically appealing to us.
Studies show that we find a person’s physical characteristics and features to be more appealing when they demonstrate, or we hear that they have, positive personality traits such as honesty, friendliness, and helpfulness. We find them less physically attractive when they demonstrate negative qualities such as unfairness and rudeness.
Attractive people have the power to attract. They have an energy that draws people to them like a magnet. They exude light, and in their presence, we feel safe, calm, energized, and inspired—even if few words are spoken.
Intuitively, we can sense another’s vibe. We’re constantly interacting with this unseen vibrational field even when we’re not consciously aware of it. Individuals with a higher level of energy have a stronger electromagnetic attractor field than those with weak ones, and they are more powerful. They will be
more attuned to another’s vibration as well.
Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., internationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher, and teacher, defined a range of values, attitudes, and emotions that correspond to levels of energy, power, and consciousness. In his book Power vs. Force (1995), Dr. Hawkins presented a “Map of Consciousness” incorporating findings in quantum physics and nonlinear dynamics, which includes a range of values, along with a logarithmic scale of 1 to 1000.
To understand power and attractiveness, let’s start with the emotional, perceptual, and attitudinal states that have a negative attractor pattern.
Sub 200 – Negative Attractor Pattern
These levels require energy from others, as they do not have the energy to reciprocate.
At levels below 200, consciousness and emotional states include (in ascending order of energy): shame/ humiliation, guilt/blame, apathy/despair, grief/regret, fear/anxiety, desire/craving, anger/hate, pride/scorn.
As human beings, we typically experience a whole range of emotions. It may be appropriate to be angry at times, and it is important to grieve our losses. Fear is critical when it keeps us safe, and most of us have felt a lack of energy at times. Many of us have experienced periods of stress.
The issue is that when these emotional states are excessive, persist, and/or are consistent as personality traits (as in the case of neuroticism, for example), they narrow and darken one’s perception and are debilitating. Events are likely to be perceived as threatening or difficult. Rather than expand and evolve, these levels atrophy.
Levels below 200 may be characterized as avoidant, emotionally unstable, insecure, uncooperative, suspicious, rigid, egocentric, impulsive, hostile, and/or intolerant. Managing relationships, work, and/or health can be very difficult.
The belief is that the cause of one’s pain, or the source of one’s happiness, is outside of oneself—therefore, there is a lack of empowerment, and the perception of being a victim of one’s environment. Driven by insecurity, and with the energy of fear and anger, there is an attempt to force outcomes in an effort to attain certainty, stability, control, and survival.
Prolonged anxiety takes a toll on our physical health and can lead to disease. With respect to physical attractiveness, stress can lead to premature aging, weight gain/loss, hair loss, and skin conditions.
What’s Attractive? THE BIG 6
As you read through each of the attractor levels below, you may notice your own energy heightening. Greater self-awareness and insight lead to growth and an elevation of consciousness and your own attractor pattern.
1. Courage and Willingness: Levels 200–310
Dr. Hawkins comments that "At the 200 level, power first appears. Courage is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination. At the lower levels the world is seen as hopeless, sad, frightening, or frustrating, but at the level of Courage, life is seen tobe exciting, challenging, and stimulating.” At this level, opportunities are sought; and growth, education, and goals are pursued.These levels are resilient and can adequately cope with life’s obstacles. At the level of 200, there is a balanced exchange of energy between giving and receiving.
Not surprisingly, several studies related to attraction and personality traits show that people are most attracted to those with a healthy self-confidence. They are also attracted to those who have an ability to handle life’s stressors and who can regulate and account for their own emotions. People are attracted to those with a healthy curiosity who are open to experience and adventure. Those who are friendly and helpful are appealing.
People above level 200 are in their power, so they have no need to control or force. They are not interested in conflict. They are flexible and nonjudgmental.They are secure within themselves, so people tend to feel safe around them.
At the level of 310, people are genuinely friendly, and their social and economic success follows.These are “can do” people who tend to advance in work and life. Defensiveness is low, with an interest in self- reflection, so people tend to be self-correcting. Those at this level are helpful to others and contribute to society.
2. Acceptance: Level 350
This stage is transformational. A person learns and accepts that there are circumstances outside of their control and choose not to see themselves as a victim of their environments. People at this level realize they are the source of their own happiness and responsible for their attitudes. They are disciplined as they strive for self-mastery. They realize that love cannot be given or taken away by another because its source is within. Rather than focusing on problems, this level focuses on solutions.
People at this level have a strong attractor pattern, as they do not attempt to make others conform to a mold of their own choosing for their own comfort. They see people as they are rather than how they would like them to be, and choose their own actions responsibly.
3. Reason: Level 400
Intelligence is another key quality that people find attractive, as is the ability to reason and to be reasonable. Dr. Hawkins comments that "Intelligence and rationality rise to the forefront when the emotionalism of the lower levels is transcended. This is the level of science, medicine, and of generally increased capacity for conceptualization and comprehension. Knowledge and education are here sought as capital.”
Paradoxically, it is at the level of reason that a person can be stunted from expanding to higher levels. This level can get caught up in over-intellectualizing, with too much focus on facts, figures, and data. The ability to intuitively see the whole picture can be missed, as one is caught up in the minute details where discrepancies exist.
4. Love: Level 500
“Reason is of the mind whereas love is of the heart. At this level, love is unconditional, unchanging, and permanent,” states Dr. Hawkins. It is not dependent on the actions of others and never involves hate when a relationship struggles or ends. Love is a state of being that has immense appreciation for the essence and beauty of life. It uplifts, nurtures, and supports others. People at this level are known to demonstrate positive, unconditional regard for others. The feeling of love is profound and ultimately leads to happiness.
When we vibrate at this level, intuition is high. Rather than see the differences between things, we most often see the similarities and connectedness among all things. Insight, foresight, and answers
appear into consciousness without knowing how we know. Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are elevated. We then literally glow and are radiant.
5. Joy and Peace: Levels 540–600
When happiness and unconditional love are habitual, individuals evolve to experience the higher levels of consciousness as well as joy and peace. At this level, healing occurs. Dr. Hawkins states, “From level 540 up is the domain of saints, and advanced spiritual students and healers. A capacity for enormous patience and the persistence of a positive attitude in the face of prolonged adversity is characteristic of this energy field; the hallmark of this state is compassion. People who have attained this level have a notable effect on others.”
These levels experience and trust the perfection of all creation. They tune in and collaborate with a higher power to manifest easily and almost effortlessly. They experience what could be described as the miraculous and are able to access higher planes and dimensions. They are aware of the interconnectedness of all things and know that we are all part of a seamless whole of pulsating energy, a universal intelligence—a unified field of consciousness. These individuals experience life beyond the physical and personal and have accessed transpersonal, spiritual, and metaphysical awareness. Selfactualization, self-realization, transcendence, and the focused development of the soul are characteristic of these higher levels of consciousness.
6. Enlightenment: Levels 700–1000
At the highest levels, there is no identification with Self as being separate; rather, one’s identification is with consciousness itself and Divinity—that is, complete Oneness.
Dr. Hawkins states, “This is the level of the Great Ones of history who originated the spiritual patterns that countless people have followed throughout the ages. This is the level of powerful inspiration; these beings set in place attractor energy fields that influence all of mankind.”
These levels, according to Dr. Hawkins, are “the highest level attained by anybody who has lived in recorded history—to wit, the Great Avatars for whom the title ‘Lord’ is appropriate: Lord Krishna, Lord Buddha, and Lord Jesus Christ.”
At this level, the physical body is seen merely as a tool for consciousness and to express the mind. Its fate is of no concern.
In the end, what people find most attractive in others has little to nothing to do with the physical body. Attractiveness occurs when we let our spirit, love, and light shine.
Karen Storsteen, M.S., M.A. has worked in the fields of human and organizational development for over 25 years. She is an intuitive, counselor, executive coach and management consultant, and has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, as well as Inc. and TED Magazine.
Karen Storsteen, M. S., M.A.
Intuitive, Psychotherapist, Executive Coach, Public Speaker
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