%20(2)%20(1).png)
(pp. 31-32)
Have you ever asked yourself how “that” person could act so hurtfully and insensitively? You say to yourself, “If they loved or cared about me, they wouldn’t treat me ike this…” But what if their behaviors have nothing to do with you or anyone else? Have you ever considered that acting thoughtless or even mean-spirited could be due to wiring in the brain?
Groundbreaking findings in the neuroscience of empathy are some of the greatest discoveries of our time; one of these is that some people are born with brains wired for greater or lesser empathy. We are beginning to understand which parts of the brain control empathy and how we can develop it. We are learning how personality disorders, such as narcissism and psychopathy, affect one’s ability to empathize as well.
Empathy is the action of understanding, being sensitive to and vicariously sensing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another - even if you haven’t had the same experience. Put simply, it’s the ability
t put oneself into the shoes of another person.
ARE YOU EMPATHIC? Empathetic people are more socially, emotionally, and intuitively intelligent. They have highly adept intrapersonal and interpersonal skills enabling them to communicate and relate to others with greater ease. ey tend to be more generous and concerned with others’ welfare and are o en noted for their natural caregiving and nurturing for their natural caregiving and nurturing qualities. Research suggests that they tend to qualities. Research suggests that they tend to have happier relationships, greater personal well-being, and are more e ective at work. ective at work. ective at work.
EMPATHY’S WIDE SPECTRUM Some people are born wired for greater empathy while others are deficient. Poor genetics can create faulty brain wiring and one’s environment and early psychological traumas can also compromise empathy. Individuals identified with narcissistic and antisocial (sociopathic and psychopathic) personality disorders have an impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Manipulation, lack of compassion, callousness, deficit capacity for emotional empathy and dysfunctional capacity for cognitive empathy are other traits. Studies have found that people with narcissistic personality disorder have structural abnormalities and less grey matter in part of the cerebral cortex that has been linked to empathy. Other studies found that psychopaths showed an increased found that psychopaths showed an increased response in the ventral striatum, an area known to be involved in pleasure, when imagining others in pain.
HOW STRESS AFFECTS EMPATHY
A flood of stress hormones, over time, is neurotoxic to the brain and literally shrinks higher brain function, leaving reactions to the primitive brain, which is in charge of a flight, fight or freeze response. Under enduring stress, we can become paranoid, angry, aggressive, self-righteous, avoidant, shortsighted, and self-centered.
All of the intelligences decline, including social, emotional, and intuitive intelligence– the intelligences required for empathy and the intelligences required for empathy and compassion. Having empathy isn’t as easy compassion. Having empathy isn’t as easy when we are in a distraught emotional state. It can be hard to give when we are afraid, insecure or needy. To be truly empathetic, we must be able to distinguish between self and others, and in times of stress, the distinction between the two can be blurred.
WAYS TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN FOR GREATER EMPATHY
SELF AWARENESS
You can only see others and situations as only clearly as you see yourself. Everything else is a projection. Bring to the surface that which has been dormant and hidden within your unconscious. These are the sides of you that you learned to disown over time as you showed up in a way to gain continuous love and approval. Notice the pattern of your thoughts, how you are feeling, and how you are “showing up” in the world. How would others describe your mood and vibe
HAVE EMPATHY FOR YOURSELF
The degree to which you are “cut-off” from yourself is the degree to which you are “cut-off” from others. View your life as a process of learning and becoming. Everything that has happened in the past has brought you closer to your purpose. Love the lessons and all of your experiences including the joys and sorrows. Love and forgive yourself, heal, and know you can change your course at any time. You are doing the best you can. Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others! Have compassion for the underdeveloped sides of you that were not reinforced early in life and patiently learn to reintegrate, develop and express them. Value your strengths. Know that perfection isn’t an alternative.
DEVELOP A POSITIVELY PEACEFUL ATTITUDE
We know through neuroplasticity that a positively peaceful attitude literally rewires the brain away from stress to neurological power, empathy and intuition. Peace is optimal brain function. Your attitude is the ONLY thing you can control and is the means by which you direct your future.
GRATEFULNESS
Find and express the things you appreciate as you go through your day. Look for the beauty and strengths in others.
BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Learn to be calm regardless of what is happening on the outside.
EXERCISE, EAT HEALTHY, AND SLEEP
HAVE UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD FOR OTHERS
Value empathy rather than judgments. Look for strengths rather than finding faults in others. Be authentic and encourage others to do the same by providing the support and love for others to be themselves.
VISUALIZE
Reflect on a difficult relationship, imagine seeing the world through their eyes, and visualize how you would communicate and behave as if you were acting from your highest, most loving self.
KAREN STORSTEEN, MS, MA is an intuitive therapist, executive coach, and public speaker. She has counseled and educated thousands of individuals for over twenty-five years to self-actualize and reach their greatest potential. Known for her “uncanny intuitive gifts”, Karen Storsteen blends this talent with proven psychological methods to help people gain instant insight and awareness in love, work, and life.
She helps people let go of limiting thoughts and behaviors so they may experience the miraculous and catapult their lives forward.
She has been featured on ABC, NBC, and CBS, and has been a regular on morning FM radio. Her work is well recognized by Fortune 500 leaders, professional organizations (such as the Mensa, the High IQ Society), higher education, and the media
Comments